Excuse your introversion

You are not a nice person.

You are an introvert. Scratch that. You are a shy introvert. You feel overwhelmed by the presence of others. You easily run out of social battery and just want to disappear. You find solitude in spending time with yourself rather than others. If you browse “signs of an introvert” on the internet, you will see your name close to every sign.

But keep in mind: within all these signs, there is no mention of an introvert being hostile, inexpressive, aloof, insensitive—you could think of a thousand adjectives but let’s settle and summarize as someone that lacks empathy.

Being an introvert does not excuse your funny behaviour.

You see someone you know —someone that would love to talk to you— and you turn the other way. I am an introvert.

Someone is going through something in front of you; you can’t sympathize with them or don’t feel the need to. I am an introvert.

You know someone needs help and your opinion will go a long way, but you just sit down and watch others flop and talk nonsense. I am an introvert.

Yes, it’s actually difficult for introverts to start conversations, to feel and act relaxed in a space they are not used to. It’s easy for introverts to get tongue-tied—and many other traits.

But many times, people hide their unsympathetic behaviour under the umbrella of being an introvert. Introversion doesn’t make you act that way—that is simply a personal trait.

If, as an introvert, you don’t know how to be empathetic and you don’t know how to talk to people about your problem, it is understandable. But on the other hand, if, as an introvert, you can’t empathise with others but would like people to empathise with you… if you cannot give a listening ear but you want to be surrounded with people who not only hear but listen and see you.

To your friends, you stay aloof and pretend that the things that are happening to them are none of your business. You act blind to your problems, deaf to their groaning, but you make funny exclamations to draw attention to yourself and your problems— you want everyone to be at your beck and call, but you can’t be there for them.

That is not introversion. That is simply a parasitic behaviour.

Introversion is not toxicity.