Life doesn’t care

You should care.

Photo by Yuris Alhumaydy on Unsplash

It’s the 13th of October. I’m in my room, thinking about life and how it doesn’t care about anyone. It’s funny how this isn’t even halfway through the month, yet I’ve cried more than I’ve smiled—not to mention laughing. October has been a sad month for me, and I hate it.

I’ve realized something about myself—I run away from writing whenever I’m sad. I detest putting my thoughts on paper when I’m moody, maybe because I don’t want to see those thoughts written down. Maybe I’m scared of knowing they exist, or maybe I’m scared of facing the depth of my sadness. Why? I have no idea. I hate being sad. If I’m being honest, I’m not just sad, I’m scared of sadness. I’m scared it might grow into something worse.

I know you’re aware that life doesn’t really care about us—it doesn’t even acknowledge our existence. If you were to drop dead today, life wouldn’t flinch. It just keeps moving forward, as if nothing happened. It doesn’t care.

I’m sorry if this comes off as depressing or brings up thoughts you’d rather avoid. Don’t worry, I’m not depressed, just sad, and I’m trying hard to make sure this sadness doesn’t turn into something worse. That’s why I’m writing this now.

The truth is, as I’ve said, life can be brutal, but that doesn’t mean you have to be hard on yourself. What makes the difference is how we choose to live through it.

What do you do when you're sad? Do you embrace the feeling and sit with it? Do you try to run away from it by engaging in things you know you shouldn’t? Or do you just wait for it to fade?

I’m not here to judge how you deal with sadness, but I do want to remind you that if the path you choose to drive the sadness away could harm you, it's best to avoid it. It’s just not worth it.

Among the many things life has taught me, being grateful at all times is one of the most important. When I feel sad, I try to remind myself of the times when God came through for me. Even when life isn’t going the way I want right now, I remind myself there’s still hope, and I have reasons to be happy. Every day, I also thank God for books. I’m grateful that there are so many writers and books that I’ll never run out of things to read. Even when a reading slump tries to creep in, I find a way through it.

Life may be indifferent, but it’s up to us to create moments of meaning and shape how we respond to the world. In the end, how we react to the randomness and chaos is what truly matters.